Millennials and Gen Z accumulate ‘dating debt’: Study

Over the course of their lives, the average American spends $120,000 on thoughtful gifts, romantic dinners, movie dates, and personal care and cosmetics.

As a result, 22% of millennials and 19% of Gen Z have started to accumulate “dating debt,” according to a LendingTree survey.

According to a different Credit Karma poll, 29% of people between the ages of 18 and 34 have dating debt, with 21% having more than $500 in debt in a single year. One of the explanations mentioned is accidental overspending (29%), followed by trying to impress dates (28%), and then intimacy (19%). However, according to a different Finder study, 44% of Gen Zs believe that having debt when seeking for a mate is a romantic deal-breaker.

This emphasises the possible connection between accumulating debt from dating and having trouble forming sincere romantic relationships.

For younger generations, debt growth is an issue because the search for love and connection is intimately related to a taste for luxury.

Root of the issue

The want to prove one’s status is a fundamental human tendency that underlies the accumulation of debt for romantic relationships. In the modern age, where social media and online dating platforms are the norm, standing out from the crowd has never been harder, but it is also essential.

Understanding how such habits develop may be made easier by the “costly signalling” hypothesis. It asserts that both people and animals employ resource-intensive or dangerous behaviour as genuine, challenging-to-fake signals of their desirable traits and availability.

This is equivalent to noticeable spending, which is driven by a desire for status and the public exhibition of that status.

Status signalling in partnerships or social groups is uncommon, but in more recent generations, it has taken on a financial aspect. Among young adults, luxury experiences and goods are becoming more closely linked to a particular form of personal expression.

‘Dating debt’ begins to mount

A pricey dinner at a high-end restaurant or a designer handbag as a gift become markers of distinction and status. While these activities add a certain level of individuality to a partnership, they also increase the likelihood of financial instability.

The link between luxuries and social connections, however, seems to contain an intriguing contradiction.

Even if owning or using luxury might enhance one’s social image and sense of self, people tend to view themselves more favourably when doing so, even when they have a poor opinion of others who do the same.

This displays an intriguing gap in how one judges their own and other people’s luxury consumption.

In a romantic setting, a person who brags about spending a lot of money on a bottle of wine might exaggerate how much it will impress their date.

Gift-givers usually believe that more expensive presents are valued more because they reflect more thought. Receivers of gifts do not necessarily agree with this notion, since they do not always relate the value of the gift to the degree of gratitude.

This suggests that gift-givers might not be able to predict with absolute certainty which presents will be meaningful to others. Additionally, they might spend more because they think expensive gifts are meaningful, which would increase their relationship debt.

How to deal with the issue?

Although it is widely accepted that people use luxury goods to demonstrate their social standing and financial resources, their responses to such gifts may be complex. The truth is that a lot of people cherish their freedom and have little faith in the motives of those who give them gifts like this since they worry about expectations and power dynamics.

Instead, they may prioritise close relationships over material possessions and initially be cautious of new partnerships.

Last but not least, resolving these issues and making sure that gift-giving aligns with the common aims and wants of the partnership depend on open and honest communication about expectations.

Conclusion

Our pursuit of love is usually confused with the idea of luxury, creating an alluring but false link between the two. In the area of romantic relationships, expensive items or extravagant events may cause us to feel closer to our spouses than we actually are.

However, it’s possible that the association between luxury and love is false. Luxury may undoubtedly make a relationship more romantic, but it’s important for younger generations to know the difference between flashy objects and the strong bonds that bind us together in a relationship.

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